Song of the Day From Molly

12.4.08 "I Don't Wanna Go Home" by Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes

2008-12-04T10:33:00.012-06:00

Thanks to The Belfast Cowboys' record release party last night, my synapses aren't firing this morning. My apologies if I start saying bad things about your mom, or distort facts and figures to my advantage.

Okay, here we go.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY!

Why do we celebrate this today? Because:

1) He's got the most beautiful voice I've ever heard live, except for Etta James
2) He's from Jersey
3) He's friends with all the other famous people from New Jersey, including Jon Bon Jovi, Paulie Walnuts, Melissa & Brian Pfeifer, Whitney Houston, former Minnesota Viking Ed Marinaro, and Sinatra (Frank's dead, but he & Southside still talk every week)
4) He reminds us of why people shouldn't wear red pants unless they are Santa or the Arizona Cardinals
5) He reminds us of how some people look way, way, WAY better when they leave their sunglasses on (Mike D of the Beastie Boys will back this up)

Thus, I give you...

"I Don't Wanna Go Home"
by Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes
(with a special guest appearance by some guy named Bruce)

I wanna hear people laughin' and havin' a good time! So do it here:

Here are Bruce and Southside singing together only a coupla years ago:

Check out Johnny's horn section in the clip. It's The Miami Horns! Recognize 'em? You may have seen some of them in their day job, on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. (Wait...I suppose that would be a night job?) Bruce's drummer, Max Weinberg lifted a few of them for The Max Weinberg 7 and now Conan has a house band.

Ba da bing.

Steve Van Zandt wrote today's song.

He used to be this guy:

but now he's back to being himself ...

and doing Little Steven's Underground Garage. There is life after wacking.

Get on the bus and get the Song of the Day From Molly emails! Send an email to songofthedayfrommolly@gmail.com with "SIGN ME UP" or something like that in the subject line.

* Check out my favorite blog - besides my own, of course: Boogeyman's Sparring Partner

12.3.08 "Nowhere Man" by The Beatles

2008-12-03T12:34:00.017-06:00

Today in History 1965, The Beatles released this gem:

The UK version of "Rubber Soul" is way better than the US version and is ranked as #5 on Rolling Stone's list of 500 Best Album of all time. In fact, today's song wasn't even ON the US version. I think the Brits were still holding a grudge about that stuff that happened in Boston back in the day.

Either way, here's my fave cut from the UK version. I'm sure you know it...

"Nowhere Man"
by The Beatles

...but have you seen them play in live in Munich? Here:

I'm not giving you the video from the idiotic, stinkin' "Yellow Submarine" cartoon nightmare because it is a waste of time as:

1) They didn't used The Beatles voices for their characters!
2) The story is completely stupid, and
3) The Beatles didn't do the voices! WHAAAAAAAAA???

They do appear at the very end of the movie, but by this time you're so bored you've already turned it off and moved on to something worthwhile.

Also notable today: Pig Chaos!

In 1976 in London, Pink Floyd flew up a giant 40 foot inflatable pig balloon (I know, right?) to shoot the album cover for its album "Animals". They originally hired a guy to be on hand to shoot it down (!) if the piggie got loose - because a giant pig balloon losing air and careening all over the city would be much safer than any alternative - like not putting a giant pig on strings in the middle of a highly populated area. But the insurance was too costly, so they dispensed with using Shootist Guy for day two of the photo shoot. Like Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape"*, Piggie broke free of its tethers and floated over London, causing all the flights at Heathrow to be delayed. The pilots were told to beware as "there's a giant flying pig in the area." Piggie finally landed in a farmer's field, proving that he - like Dorothy - was just trying to go home. Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal!

Compare and contrast the runaway pig...

with the resulting album cover:

Like I said, high comedy!

*Yes, I did it again. The Great Escape makes yet another appearance in SOTD!

Check out my favorite other blog - besides my own, of course:
Boogeyman's Sparring Partner

11.5.08 "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye"

2008-11-06T12:21:00.010-06:00

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.
– Barack Obama, Victory Speech, November 4, 2008.

Totally agree, 44.

*drums fingers*

Okay, I'm sorry but I can't resist one more – just one - partisan, petty and completely immature moment. Thus! I give you!

"Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Good-Bye"
by Steam

Okay, NOW let's put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes We Can.

But go ahead and listen to the song first.

"Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winter Group

2008-10-31T13:53:00.020-05:00

Halloween 2008

It’s gotta be short cuz I gotta make time to get my kid out on the streets, grubbin’ for sugar.
Thus, I give you…

“Frankenstein”
by the Edgar Winter Group

To see Boris Karloff rocking out to it, click here.

And here you thought I’d resort to “Monster Mash” – come on, people. SO obvious. And SO overdone.

And remember to watch your backs if you go out tonight, because…

Even a man who is pure in heart
and says his prayers by night,
may become a wolf
when the wolfbane blooms
and the autumn moon is bright.

Honorable Mention:
Martin Luther rocked the house in 1517!

On this day in 1517, the priest and scholar Martin Luther approaches the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany, and nails a piece of paper to it containing the 95 revolutionary opinions that would begin the Protestant Reformation.

Luther…

Lutherans…get it?

Thus,

“Can You Hear Me Knocking”
by the Rolling Stones is quite appropriate. Dig it here!

10.27.08 "Election Year Rag" by Steve Goodman

2008-10-27T14:21:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the lack of entries lately, but sometimes my effin' job gets in the way of my life and I refuse to give you a not-up-to-par SOTDFM.

So!

Take a deep breath - we're in the home stretch, my peeps!

Only 8 days - plus a long November 4 night with Anderson Cooper (and isn't that what we all crave anyway?) - and we can all say, "I survived Election '08!"

Oh, and get out your shufflin' shoes because I'm giving you…

"Election Year Rag"

by Steve Goodman (Go, Cubs, Go!)

\m/

10.15.08 "Good Golly Miss Molly"

2008-10-15T12:47:00.014-05:00

This Day in History, the greatest song of all time was recorded by Little Richard.

Thus, I give you...

"Good Golly Miss Molly"

by Little Richard (singing to Muhammad Ali - ain't they pretty?)

and

Creedence Clearwater Revival

and

Chernobils

and

Jerry Lee Lewis

and

Nick Martellaro

and, of course, Springsteen

who sang this Right. To. Me. when I was only three feet away, standing on a chair in front of him. Yeah, there were 43,000 people other people there, too, because we were at the St. Paul Civic Center. BUT IT WAS FOR ME ESPECIALLY FOR ME JUST FOR ME FOR NO ONE ELSE BUT ME.

Remember when Bruce and the boys all dressed like badass pimps?

jennyjennyWHOO!jennyjenny

This is possibly the very best:

Attila and the Nuns Live in Zurich!

This version by Cliff Richard makes me want to shoot myself in the head with a nail gun. MY. GOD. It is spine-tingling horrific.

Speaking of Creedence, remember when John Fogerty had that awesome pageboy? And then remember last year when he went around killing people with an oxygen tank?
You think they're two different guys? If you say so, friend-o.

9.29.08 "Plastic Jesus" by Paul Newman

2008-09-29T15:20:00.009-05:00

"Kid, the next time I say let's go to Bolivia, I mean let's go to Bolivia!" - Paul Newman, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

The most famous blue eyes in movie history closed for the final time this past Friday.

Thus, I give you...

"Plastic Jesus"
by Paul Newman
from "Cool Hand Luke"

Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYqwYrbwHeM

Paul Newman was celluloid's king of cool. Even COOLER than Steve McQueen, and that's hard to do since anyone who's seen "The Great Escape" knows that McQueen is beyond badass - and seemingly effortlessly ly ly ly (Yes, I link to "The Great Escape" all the time. So what. If you haven't seen it, shut up, because you will never know cool until you see it. If you have seen it, you know why I link to it all the time. All the time. )

The Sting. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Watch 'em again and refresh your memory on how badass Paul Newman is. Was. Whoops.

P-New was in the greatest hockey movie of all time, Slap Shot, in which he says something the Twins need to adopt should we have to go to Chicago to decide who are the AL Central champs: "It's their rink, it's their ice, and it's their f*ckin' town. But tonight we got our fans with us!" Chicago's only seven hours away. There's GOTTA be some Twinkies fans there. Get thee to a box office, peeps!

(Sidebar for those of you not paying attention lately: Okay, see if Detroit beats Chicago today, we win the AL Central title. If not, the Twins & Sox gotta battle it out in a game at Comiskey. But right now, as I write this, there is a rain delay over the Detroit/Sox game. God loves baseball so much that he does ANYTHING to make the season longer. He's cool that way.)

Anyway, Paul Newman wasn't just actor dude, he was philanthropy dude. He grabbed up over $250 million - MILLION - dollars with is Newman's Own ingestibles (salad dressing, salsa, popcorn, pet vittles.) What'd he do with all that dough? He donated EVERY EFFIN' PENNY to terminally ill kids. Talk about being the King of Cool.

And here we all suck it up every year at our jobs when it's time to donate to a charity. "Wahhhh, I can't afford to give anything out of my paycheck! I need it!" Come ON. Do YOU have brain cancer? If not, cough it up - at least a little. Or at least donate your effin' time to do something once in a blue effin' moon. It won't kill ya (unless you join the Peace Corps and go somewhere and get blown up. But you COULD get sent to Jamaica instead! SweartoGod! Clickthelink!)

P-New also donated $4,600 to "Presidential Campaigns 2008" - when I looked this up, there was a giant donkey next to the dollar sign. (And yes, if you clicked on that link, there really IS a website devoted to donkeys. What the f*ck!) Newman was obviously brilliant.

But, of course, this being a multi-partisan bloggie deal, I just mean because he didn't just sit back and get all passive and "one vote doesn't count" and all that stupid sh*t. In my eyes, even if you vote for someone who might be a complete @sshole, you should still vote.
(Sidebar: Mom, please get out the duct tape in anticipation for November 4.)

How did the Dems come to have the donkey as their little symbol, while the Repubs have their elephant? Word on the street is that when Andrew Jackson was running for President, his opponents labelled him a jack@ss because he said, "Let the people rule!" and was opposed to the Civil War. So a cartoonist (noun, pron. car-TOON-ist: "guy who draws cartoons" - Merriam Webster) named Thomas Nast drew a donkey to represent this notion.

Yeah, I don't get it either.

But the cartoon shows a donkey kicking a lion.

Yeah, still don't get it.

Want to know why the Repubs have an elephant? The story isn't nearly as good, so go look it up yourself (I'm not that mean, really, so that's why I linked it. Praise be to multi-partisianess!)

Check it - Thomas Nast also kicks some serious @ss (no pun intended) because he - not the Coca-Cola company - gave us the first real image of Santa Claus.

But Coke soon followed soot (Get it? I used "soot" instead of "suit"! Cuz Santa goes down chimneys! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) in the 1930's by hiring artist Haddon Sunbloom who gave us the Santa everyone knows - and some even in the big red & white suit, drinking a Coke. (And Santa DOES drink Coke! Try leaving a Coke and a Pepsi out on Christmas Eve. I've done it. The Pepsi lays undisturbed, but the Coke bottle is dry as a bone. A BONE! And leave carrots, too, because Rudolph will nibble them. I did this as a kid and still remember the teeth marks. I almost peed my pants. It was right up there with meeting Springsteen at the airport when I was 14. No, it was BETTER than that. Bruce didn't take the carrots I offered. B@stard. His career went downhill after that. But I digress.

And that's why Paul Newman was the King of Cool.

Do you want your friends to have brilliance in their day? Refer 'em to Song of the Day From Molly!

9.26.08 "When The Saints Go Marching In" by Mahalia Jackson

2008-09-26T12:48:00.003-05:00

Special note:
I got word from the family of the little girl who was in the video singing "I Love You (Period)" (see Song of the Day 9.24.08.) It turns out she's autistic and lives in Oklahoma where they need some help with the law.
Her grandma wrote me (after I'd asked permission to use the video) saying:

Glad you like the video. Her name is Alaina. She happens to be autistic...I am using some videos here in Oklahoma to help us advance Nick's Law. Nick's Law mandates insurance cover autism treatments recommended by primary care physician. Currently they are allowed to totally exclude any and all treatments related to childhood autism. Alaina has a policy which states exactly that. We bought it for her when she was born, only to find after her diagnosis it was excluded. You know anyone in Oklahoma who may want to help? This is our second session fighting and we are ready to battle...

So guys...know anyone in Oklahoma who might be able to help? Email me and I'll forward you to Alaina's peeps. Let's solve sh*t like this together.

"Why so serious?" - Heath Ledger as The Joker

Yes, SOTDFM got super serious all of a sudden! Well, I - as well as you - can suck it up and do the right thing once in a while. Love is all around, we just gotta show it, no matter how jaded and crass we are.

And now, on to other serious business.

Today's song goes out to my good friend, Angie, whose father-in-law is on his way out.

When my uncle Matt died, we were all standing around his grave, looking at his casket, heads hanging, very sad. My cousin, uncle Matt's daughter, suddenly said, "You know, my dad was NOT an unhappy man. I don't want him to go out like this, on this sad note. Can we all sing "When The Saints Go Marching In" for him?"

So we did.

We couldn't have given him a better send off (unless we'd had kazoos, of course. Kazoos always give a nice touch!)

So Marv...this is for you.

"When The Saints Go Marching In"
by Mahalia Jackson

And here she is with Louie Armstrong, kickin' out the jams:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuD9TyaUhgs

Peace out.

9.24.08 "I Love You (Period) by Dan Baird

2008-09-24T11:45:00.015-05:00

Today is National Punctuation Day!

“My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.”
— Ernest Hemingway, whose cats had six toes, letter, May 15, 1925

Amen, my bruthuh.

Because punctuation is beyond crazy-important in communicating our exact thoughts/feelings/all that good sh*t to others, and how the addition or subtraction of a lone comma can change the entire meaning of a phrase, we need to celebrate the beauty of correct punctuation. Thus, I give you, the greatest punctuation song of all time, written by Terry Anderson of NRBQ and sung by Dan Baird of the Georgia Satellites...

"I Love You (Period)"
by Dan Baird

Enjoy it here...and sing along!
"She said the spelling was a masterpiece, the punctuation could be better..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFpsDAL4oKE

THIS version is almost better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWOE_uYXg_o
Girl's got herself a future in Southern Rock.

Now.

Let's get this out of the way straight away.

Colon.

Okay?

COLON.

I think we all know that a colon can be either "The sign used to mark a major division in a sentence to indicate that what follows is an elaboration, summation, interpretation, etc..." OR well, you know.

Did you know that the adult colon is about 5 feet long? Dude. I don't want to even think about if one of 'em emptied out all at once. My friend, Shanna - after telling her this fact - said, "What, does it all bunch up and hlhlhhhsshshhstss (radio static-type sound)?" With that noise thrown in there, I didn't really understand what she was asking. But I think I have the same question.

hlhlhhhsshshhstss.

Some people like to clean out their colons on a regular basis and claim that it's for health reasons. They say that a good colonic gives you clearer skin, an increase in mental clarity, and fewer headaches in comparison with before the "event.". Oh, and get this one - improved bowel function! Whodathunkit!

Famous celebs that liked a nice colonic:

John Lennon (this is actually what he wrote "Imagine" about. Okay, maybe not. But IMAGINE if he had.)
Janet Jackson ("Control!")
Damon Wayans ("In Living Color")
James Coburn

JAMES COBURN LIKED ENEMAS???? "The Great Escape" now has an entirely new meaning...

“Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald

Scott would obviously does NOT like Song of the Day! Scott! My jokes ARE so awesome how can I not laugh at them!

Now get out there and use an ellipsis today!

9.23.08 "Save It For A Rainy Day" by The Jayhawks

2008-09-23T15:41:00.005-05:00

It’s pouring rain here in Minneapolis and it’s supposed to rain most of the week AND I’ve actually BEEN saving this song for a rainy day! THUS! I GIVE YOU!

“Save It For A Rainy Day”
by The Jayhawks

Here they are on Letterman doing it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEVvOATOCGo

I was going to use the actual video for this song, but it starts with Gary Louris standing in a swimming pool and is completely mind numbing. What the f*ck? I really don’t see any symbolism there that can be properly explained. Is he drowning? Is he supposed to be a glass half full or half empty? Then they are dancing around with these Indian women. Couldn’t they have gotten Michael Jackson to dance to the song or something? Stupid. Ass. Video.

Additionally, the woman in the video is neither “looking like a train wreck” NOR “wearing too much makeup” like the song says. In fact, it’s Mary Louise Parker who everyone knows is at least fairly hot and has never been a train wreck ever (if so, they are unreported.) They could’ve gotten me to do the video and it would’ve been way more realistic - Especially the part where I’d yell, “Gary, get out of the effin’ pool, you look like an *sshole. ”

Interesting Tiger Beat-like tidbits about the Jayhawks:

Marc Perlman is the ‘Hawks’ bassist, but he used to play guitar in the ultra-badass Minneapolis band, The Neglecters. If you look up Marc Perlman on Wikipedia, Ron Perlman comes up. This made me laugh out loud and I don’t know why.
Marc Perlman used to deliver black hair care products to drugstores back in the day. This from Laura, who actually received said products from Perlman at a Snyder's Drugstore in South Minneapolis.
Singer, guitarist, songwrite Gary Louris wrote and sang the song "Every Word," which was theme song for the awesomist documentary Wordplay which is about a bunch of people obsessed with crossword puzzles and how much they kick ass. The puzzles, not the people. Althought the people do too. (And yes, I purposely used "awesomist" a non-word to describe Wordplay. Aren't I ironic?)
Tim O'Reagan and Stephen McCarthy have no relation to an now-dead O'President nor Eugene NOR Joe McCarthy. I don't think. Someone tell me if they do and I'll change it.

Umbrella.

Need I say more?

Honorable Mention:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. SPRINGSTEEN! Today, he will be…

Holy sh*t. He’s gonna be SIXTY next year. WTF!

2008-09-22T14:42:00.002-05:00

Sure, a lot of great things happened at the now-deceased Yankee Stadium over the years. Big effin' whoop.

This happened at Shea:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGV5P1ePILc&feature=related

So nyah nyah nyah.

P.S. Johnny Damon is still a traitor!

9.19.08 "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye

2008-09-19T13:41:00.010-05:00

Thanks to Dave Pasternak (of Two Guys and a Map fame) for today's song suggestion.

Norman Whitfield died this week.

Who?????

Well, he only wrote:

Ain't Too Proud To Beg

I Could Never Love Another After Loving You

Cloud Nine

Ball of Confusion

Beauty's Only Skin Deep

Don't Let The Jones Get You Down

Girl's Alright With Me

I Know I'm Losin' You

Psychedelic Shack

I Wish It Would Rain

Papa Was a Rolling Stone

Please Return Your Love To Me

Runaway Child Running Wild

Superstar

...and that's just what he wrote for The Temptations!

He also wrote:

Smiling Faces Sometimes

End of Our Road

He Was Really Saying Something

Pride and Joy

War

Too Busy Thinking About My Baby

That's The Way Love Is

Too Many Fish In The Sea

Wherever I Lay My Hat That's My Home

Since Norman wrote what Dave Marsh called the greatest single of all time, and since I literally heard through the grapevine that Norman died, I give you...

"I Heard It Through The Grapevine"
by Marvin Gaye

'Nuff said.

2008-09-18T12:17:00.030-05:00

38 years ago today…

Jimi Hendrix died.

Here's his death certificate to prove I am not a liar-liar-pants-on-fire-er:

Thus, I give you…

“Fire”
By Jimi Hendrix

Jimi kickin’ out the jams with “Fire” at Woodstock:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7ggQj4t4Sw

The most famous film of Jimi is when he lit his guitar on fire during his rendition of “Wild Thing” at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967. See it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfPgj4bviKY&feature=related

How versatile was Jimi? He even threw in a riff of “Strangers in the Night” during one of the solos. Listen for it! (And picture Sinatra singing with Jim. BEYOND riveting.)

Here is Jimi waking up. Even the gods of guitar have to sleep. And look! His hair is all f*cked up, more proof that he is at least slightly human. He's wearing a necklace, too, which my mom always told could strangle and kill you in the middle of the night if you wore it to bed. My mom obviously didn't tell Jimi this tidbit (but you will note - I am still alive while Jimi is long dead. My mom obviously knew her sh*t when it came to staying alive in your sleep.)

So get this one: Jimi was in the army as a paratrooper in the 101st Airborne Division. Can you picture him floating through the air in paisley bell-bottoms? BAD.ASS. He would be just like my friend, Purple Paul (see here in France) with the little parachute on his back.

So Jimi said he broke his ankle and was let out, but according to his military record (that were released under a Freedom of Information Act request! Dude, who requested this? I want to be their friend so we can do stuff like that together!) he was said to be “unable to conform to military rules and regulations” Well, duh. It’s Jimi Effin Hendrix!

They also said that he was “severely distracted while performing duties due to excessive thinking about his guitar.” I’m afraid I’ve now getting everyone into trouble who reads this while at work. Because now YOU, like Jimi, are thinking about his guitar…and if you play the file/watch the YouTube video, it just may get excessive (I mean, c’mon, who can go on YouTube and watch ONE video. You HAVE to start clicking on the stuff on the right that comes up, too!)

So get this one - Jimi was discharged as “undesirable”. (COME ON! Who can NOT desire Jimi!) But he later claimed that he was discharged because he told the Army guys that he was gay. I have to admit, it makes a killer story. But why the hell didn’t Jimi think that "thinking about his guitar excessively" was any less badass! Don’t ask him. He won’t tell. (GET IT? Don’t ask, don’t tell! HAHAHAHAHAH!)

I’m off to light a candle for Jimi…or – even better - a guitar! So get your lighter fluid ready, grab someone’s guitar and have at it!

"I can hear Jimi!"
- Woody Harrelson, White Men Can't Jump

9.17.08 "I Saw The Light" by Hank Williams

2008-09-17T14:27:00.012-05:00

Please note: Yesterday's song of the day was brought to us by my friend, Joe. *NOT* Joe Hardy, but that would've been really REALLY cool. No, it's another other Joe. And not my cousin, Joe because he is actually "Joey" – we're in the Irish mob so everyone's name ends in the "y" sound. This one is Joe Stinnett.

Joe has a cat who eats corn! I kid you not.
See proof here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0_Q03FX1P8

So anyway…

This Day in History (1923):

Hiram Williams was born!!!

Who the effin' hell is Hiram?

He was born in Mount Olive, Alabama in 1923. On New Year's Day, 1953, a little ditty he wrote - "I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive" - came to fruition and he died of heart failure in the back of his Cadillac en route to a gig. (HOW EFFIN' COOL IS THAT! DYING IN A CADILLAC!)

Still...Hiram? Well, his nickname was "Hank"...

Thus, I give you…

"I Saw The Light"
by Hank Williams

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANK!

Check out ol' Hank doing it here with a big group of clapping people: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32tcvdd4SCI

Why the hell did Hank let some other guy start off the song? Because Hank is stealthy. He lingers at the far right thinking we won't notice him, but his suit is so badass that he stands out like a sore thumb. Roses down the arm and leg? COME ON!! That's effin' BEAST! (Beast is the young folks' word for "neat" or "exciting" – use it! People will think you're beast.)

During his life he wrote virtually no letters, gave few interviews and often gave people conflicting ideas about who he was. But one thing we knew for sure: he was known as "The Skinniest Man in Show Biz"

Okay, not really. But look at him! I mean, really. Spielberg could've used him as an extra in "Schindler's List" dude's so effin' gaunt. And not in a "I'm a Kenyan who wins every marathon I run!" way but more like a "This bucket o' beer is the sh*t! I think I'll take another upper…" He is proof (positive!) that beer doesn't necessarily make you fat and that skinny guys are at risk of heart disease just like anyone else.

Hiram has a grandson, Hank III, (they call him "Hank Three")…

...who's the spittin' image of gran' pa, except with tattoos. He even SOUNDS like him and it's really creepy. Back from the grave is Hank.

And, oh yeah, he's also the dad of that guy with the huge beard who used to yell "ARE YA READY FER SOME FOOTBALL!" every Monday night and who could kick the ass of every "country" star today. Both arms and both legs tied behind his back. His name is Hank Williams, Jr. (you may have figured that out but I didn't want to give you too much credit.)

"You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly." – Hank Williams

Damn right.

9.16.08 "The Littlest Birds" by The Be Good Tanyas

2008-09-16T09:52:00.000-05:00

Today in history, the new ozone standard was passed (1997.) The feds tightened the standard of ozone that can be in the air, capping it at .08 parts per million.

Ever since Rachel Carson told us in Silent Spring (1962), most peeps - even the feds - have been trying to make things right with the environment.

"Give me spots on my apples, but leave me the birds and the bees. Please!" - Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi.

Me? I like me a little d.d.t. on my fruit. It gives it a nice smokey flavor that you just can't find anywhere anymore. But in case that's not up your alley, I give you...

"The Littlest Birds"
by the Be Good Tanyas

See it/hear it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHNAFRg6jYA

The littlest birds aren't actually a music group, but rather the birds that Rachel and Joni were jabberin' about: black-thighed falconets, who only weigh .056 ounces (not much bigger than Nicole Ritchie) and are only 2.75 inches long. They are the teeniest, weeniest birds in the entire world! Seriously! Look it up. I did. And if they flew into your airspace, you could totally take 'em down with one swat, easy. Check it out:

Look at him. He seems fierce, but one smack upside his head? "Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!"

I didn't know birds had thighs, much less black ones like this guy. Well, I did, I guess, because I know you can eat chicken and turkey thighs, but this little dude is so small - where the hell are his thighs??? His legs just go into a big ball of feathers. You can see it with your bare eyes! I think the thigh thing is a hoax, like the goat-killing Chupacabra.

The Be Good Tanyas are from Vancouver, which has this for a coat of arms:

I don't know who the guys are on the crest, but they look like the Hardy Boys. Note that one has an axe and the other a bag that looks like it contains a human head. Compare and contrast these guys with Frank and Joe Hardy:

See what I'm sayin'?

I don't know if the Hardy boys went around beheading people, but that would've made one badass story for the books.

9.15.08 "I'm So Tired" by The Beatles

2008-09-15T14:31:00.000-05:00

It’s Monday morning. I’m too tired to write anything so I’m going to let other people write for me today.

Thus, I give you…

“I’m So Tired”
By The Beatles

Pry your eyes open and watch/hear it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjH50O94hSw

"How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the nightlight. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember” - Dorothy Parker

A chronic condition of the American worker is not Monday morning quaterbacking, although that is a very common illness (especially if you're a Vikings fan and are wishing for a new quarterback today), but rather the tiredness on a Monday morning caused by sleeping in all weekend. Of course, I couldn't find documentation of this. But you all know it to be true.

Sleep

"It is time now for us to rise from sleep." - Saint Benedict

Since St. Ben told me to so, although I find it a challenge, I shall. Zach here at work just gave me some chocolate-covered espresso beans.

"You're my new favorite person!" - Kevin Spacey, American Beauty

9.12.08 "Whatever Happened To The Girl In Me" by the Ike Reilly Assassination

2008-09-12T11:00:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Ike

Since we've been hearing so much about the Hurricane Ike of late who may hit Houston soon, I want to remind of the original Hurricane Ike. Thus, I give you...

"Whatever Happened To
The Girl In Me"

by The Ike Reilly Assassination

Check out the ultra-badass video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvsZY6b9_5c

Cars, guns, beer, sunshine...the perfect afternoon! Ike & the band is SO EFFIN' COOL they should change their name to The Ike Reilly BadassBadassination.

I frequently sing this to my daughter, since she used to – literally – be the girl in me.

If Eric Roberts were a midget, he’d be Ike Reilly. Oops. Did I just say midget? I meant “Little Person” Really. I did.

Now. Compare and contrast:
Eric:

Ike:

The pictures don't do the resemblance justice. Just trust me on this one. Or watch the video above, then watch this scene from "The Pope of Greenwich Village":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAh8WiZNj8s&feature=related
See what I'm sayin'?

And that's not Mickey Rourke in that clip with Eric Roberts. It's Curtiss A.
Sweartogod.

Ike is from Chicago. So are lots of badassi (plural of "badass") like...
Bo Diddley!
Chris Farley!
Howlin' Wolf!
John Belushi!
Walt effin' Disney!
Harrison Ford!
Jon Favreau!
Frances McDormand!
John Dillinger!
Ernest Hemingway!
John Cusack!
Jeremy Piven!
(Yes, I linked to all of them. See how much I love you?)
Go eat a Gino's East deep dish in honor of them all!

9.9.08 "Over The Rainbow" by Eva Cassidy

2008-09-09T15:37:00.000-05:00

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.
-- Irving Townsend, The Once Again Prince

For sweet Stella and her peeps.

"Over The Rainbow"
by Eva Cassidy

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUwTdqPkluY

He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself.

He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant.

His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever — in case I need him. And I expect I will — as I always have. He is just my dog.
--Gene Hill, Tears and Laughter

Goodbye, Stell. Say hi to the gang. And wait for us - we want to hear that booming voice first thing on our way through the gates.

9.8.08 "Crazy" by Patsy Cline

2008-09-08T13:37:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna be something one of these days. – Patsy Cline

Today would’ve been her 76th birthday of the greatest female country singer of all time, thus I give you…

“Crazy”
by Patsy Cline

See it here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4Qq8UuvrUk

This little ditty was written by Willie Nelson! Swear to God! And if you hear Willie’s version, you’ll know why people listen to Patsy’s version so much. Ahem.

I would’ve said Patsy was the greatest country singer of all time…but there’s Hank Sr., Johnny Cash to fight with, and I don’t wanna get into picking the absolute greatest overall over time. Sothere. And besides, Patsy (http://www.patsy.nu/) can kick Tammy Wynette and Dolly Parton’s scrawny asses any day. I will give props to the Coal Miner’s Daughter. But the rest take a far, far, far backseat. Reba? Don’t even think about it. Stop it. And stop thinking of others.

Patsy is the queen and you all know it.

And I would’ve said greatest female singer overall, but then she’d be fighting with Etta James and that would get REALLY messy as they are both badass and would never give up the fisticuffs.

Patsy was so kickass that she has a stamp!

A STAMP!! I KNOW!!

(Sidebar: Yeah, no “I Fall To Pieces”/airplane crash jokes. Ya sickos.)

I recorded a song called, I Fall to Pieces, and I was in a car wreck. Now I'm worried because I have a brand-new record, and it's called Crazy… - Patsy Cline

Honorable Mention:

Yesterday was the birthday of Buddy Holly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUVR2phhWBo&feature=related) and my nephew, Matt (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G63uhLhE6dY) (Matt w/his band, The Falls, doing Buddy. I mean they’re doing “Rave On” ! Not “doing” doing, ya pervs!)

Matt gets nervous every February 2nd (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Music_Died) as he well should.

9.5.08 "Again" by Doris Day

2008-09-05T10:19:00.000-05:00

If you live to be a hundred, I want

To live to be a hundred minus one day,

So I never have to live without you.

- Winnie the Pooh

55 years ago today, my parents were married…

...then they ate cake!

Thus, I give you, "their song"…

"AGAIN"
by Doris Day

Written by Dorcas Cochran (Yes. I said Dorcus.)

Since finding the .mp3 file is akin to finding Jimmy Hoffa (see SOTDFM 7.31.08), I give you the file via You Tube, compliments of Doris Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CiBPAxe_Fw

(Yes, I KNOW! Doris Day is on effin' YOUTUBE!!!)

Mom & Dad even have the lyrics up on the wall of the living room. Check it!

Again, this couldn't happen again.

This is that 'once in a lifetime',

this is the thrill divine.

What's more, this never happened before

though I have prayed for a lifetimethat

such as you would suddenly be mine.

Mine to hold as I'm holding you now

and yet never so near,

mine to have when the now and the here disappear.

What matters, dear,

for when this doesn't happen again.

We'll have this moment forever

but never, never again.

In the words of the immortal and wise Bruce Lee, "Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep0burning and unquenchable." Mom and Dad have some seriously unquenchable coals.

Love is what you've been through with somebody. - James Thurber

We should all be as lucky as Ann & Jer. They've been through a lotta crap over the years, including the Korean War and every Election Day war. In our "house divided" my mom and dad would romantically go off to the polls every four years to cancel each other out. Ah love!

For those of you still in the game, you know that marriage ain't always a cake walk. You also know - and as my dad's been known to say - it's fun. As it should be. But that doesn't mean it's always fun. But - as I'm sure Ann & Jerry (and Winston Churchill) would tell you, "Never, never, never give up." It's worth it.

9.4.08 "Charlie Brown" by The Coasters

2008-09-04T14:29:00.000-05:00

In celebration of the man who animated all the Peanuts cartoons, Bill Melendez, who died this past Tuesday, September 2, at the age of 91, I give you…
"Charlie Brown"
by The Coasters

"Schulz used to say to me, 'Bill, I'm a cartoon-strip artist and you're an animator. You do your thing, I'll do mine.'" - Bill Melendez

With very good reason, Bill was the only animator Charles M. Schulz ("Sparky" to those of us in Minnesota) trusted to bring his comic strip figures to life. As a beagle owner, I can say that the man is pure genius, capturing every weird part of a beagle's personality and movements (that beagle would be Snoopy for those of you who grew up in a pop culture black hole. You poor things.)

As a special treat, I can't give you a better example of the joy that Bill's animation brings than with this video clip:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGnYw-OuCnI

For those of you too effin' lazy to click on the link, it's "Hey Ya" by Outkast, Bill Melendez-style! (Okay, the animation is the stuff Bill did for "A Charlie Brown Christmas" – which cartoonist Robert Smigel called "the greatest half-hour American TV has ever produced" - but is this version any less joy-inducing!? No. And don't argue with me. YOU WILL LOSE. Just ask my husband.)

How can it be? First Vince Guaraldi (see SOTD 7.17.08) in 1976, then ol' Chuck in 2000. Now Bill. At least the three are together again in paradise, making little animated cartoons in the sky. If only we could see what they're putting together now. "A Charlie Brown Afterlife" kick some SERIOUS ass!

8.26.08 "Vacation" by Connie Francis

2008-08-26T10:26:00.000-05:00

Song of the Day is going on vay-cay for five days to an undisclosed lakeside resort north of the Twin Cities metro area. Thus, I give you…

"VACATION"
by Connie Francis

"We're on vacation 'til the start of the Fall!"

Listen here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQZAzPWq7LY

Cindy Aron, author of "Working at Play: A History of Vacations in the United States" says: "A lot of Europeans get 4-6 weeks of paid vacation, and in many countries it's written into the law. It's a right of citizenship. Can you imagine any member of Congress offering such a bill on the floor of the House of Representatives any time soon? I don't think so."
I say, respectfully to Ms. Aron:

YES! WE! CAN! YES! WE! WILL!

After all, look at how happy and relaxed this unnamed-but-devastatingly-good-looking American youngster is! Don't we want this for ALL of us? Especially the opportunity to go barefoot with such abandon? I think I speak for all of us when I answer in the affirmative.

And I know some of you are simply melancholic that I didn't pick the effin' Go-Go's "Vacation". Fine. Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmxbCLr_3V4&feature=related

I won't apologize for my choice. But I will explain: I have an aversion to the Go-Go's that runs deep to my soul. People used to regularly tell me I looked like Belinda Carlisle…before she lost weight. Then she dropped like 150 lbs (or 20 - whatever) and I never heard it again. Yeah, so. Hence, the Connie Francis. WHICH KICKS MORE ASS ANYWAY! Who can NOT shout it out loud! COME ON NOW!

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!

IN THE SUMMER EFFIN' SUN!

Back on September 2…byeeeeeeeeeee!

8.22.08 "Calling Doctor Love" by KISS

2008-08-22T16:41:00.000-05:00

One week you're driving home from a Twins road trip in K.C. with a bad tummy ache.

The next, you're in a hospital bed minus your appendix with the doc telling you that you have an insanely rare form of cancer.

What. The. F*ck.

So what do you do? If you're my friend, Paul, the colossal KISS fan, you call Dr. Love (of course!)

I won't get as mushy here as I've been in the past, or Paul will kick my ass. But as my wise sister (see SOTDFM 8.18.08) said to me today, "We are all one slippery banana peel away from having a Caring Bridge webpage."

Hug your effin' friends and family. And live NOW. Dance like everyone's watching…and dancing with you.

Here, this'll help…

"Calling Dr. Love"
by KISS

Note to Paul: I wanted to do "Burn Baby Burn" but will try to hold off until chemo actually starts. Right now, I just can't handle one of my friends having cancer PLUS having the words "I want to put my log in your fireplace" involved with SOTDFM. Oh crap. Too late.

8.20.08 "That Summer Feeling" by Jonathan Richman

2008-08-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

Because today at work we’re having Field Day (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/field+day - the out in the park kind, not the military kind)…

I give you the best – hands down, all time, no question, don’t even argue about it – most perfect, brilliant song about summer ever written…

“That Summer Feeling”
by Jonathan Richman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Richman

I don’t have the .mp3 to LEGALLY share...so listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta63fIFSM4s&feature=related
Ignore the video. Just close your eyes, flop down on a lawn, and listen…

When the cool of the pond makes you drop down on it
When the smell of the lawn makes you flop down on it
When the teenage car gets the cop down on it
That time is here for one more year
And that summer feeling is gonna haunt you the rest of your life

Okay, you can't really be at your computer and flop down on a lawn, I know. But borrow someone's laptop and do it! We live in the wireless age! You can do it!

And sorry about the end cutting out…but I didn’t create the damn video. And it’s the only one on YouTube that has the album version.

Here’s a live version, too, if you wanna hear J-Rich do his solo thing: http://odeo.com/episodes/23013121-Jonathan-Richman-w-Curly-Keranen-That-Summer-Feeling-Portland-83

Now, I loves me some Brian Wilson and his brothers and their whole summer/beach/Beach Boys thang

(although Mike Love

-- the creepy, dirty-old-man-“I Like To Sue My Genius Cousin” Beach Boy -- can bite me...for SO many reasons, but let’s just start with the most obvious - the guy didn’t want to record the greatest album of all time! WHAT THE!)

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Sounds)

...but Jonathan Richman's song gives me goosebumps

Every.

Single.

Time.

...so it automatically trumps “Good Vibrations” and any other summery beachy Beach Boy song you can name.

You don’t like it? You are a complete and total nazi and I want nothing to do with you. Un-effin-subscribe already.

Now…I’m off to play kickball! Wheeeee!

© Song of the Day From Molly 2008
Spread the love! Tell your friends about Song of the Day From Molly!

8.19.08 "Going Back to Indiana" by the Jackson Five

2008-08-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

Today in History:

First race is held at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway

…the home of the Indy 500!
Check it out – it used to be farmland. And it was built so people could watch cars try to out-do each other, then the people would go buy the one that impressed them. The track's surface was originally crushed rock and tar (WTF!), but it broke in a bunch of places…killing two drivers, two mechanics and two spectators. Wheee! I tried to find out if the the speedway is haunted, but could not find ANY documentation regarding this. (Which sux, because how cool would that be! Anything is way better haunted…or on a stick! See SOTDFM 8.13.08)

The surface was soon replaced with 3.2 million – MILLION! - paving bricks. This saved lives. And gave the place a nickname – The Brickyard! The Indy 500 is the best-attended event in U.S. sports. Of course, if we filled the Metrodome with Jell-O and had Michael Phelps swim across it, that might trump Indy. Especially if it was green Jell-O cut up into little cubes because that's by FAR the tastiest! DON'T DENY IT!

So in honor of the most famous – and PRAISEJESUS! non-NASCAR – automobile race in the history of everything, I give you…

"Going Back to Indiana"
By the Jackson Five

Remember when Michael Jackson wasn't all f*cked up? Check him – and the song - out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHlZKtEJviw&feature=related

Man. An abusive dad and a rat for a pet can really screw up a guy.

And then! And then! Look at Baby Michael in THIS one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQLZmGybUXU&feature=related

It gives me goosebumps they were so effin' good.

And then I cry! MICHAEL! WHAT THE…STOP! STOP NOW! STAY LITTLE!

STAY GOLD, PONYBOY!

Pop Culture History I with Professor Molly
– Midterm Exam

Compare and contrast cute little Baby Michael...

with cute little Baby Ronnie Howard...

Now, compare and contrast today's Michael...

with today's Ron Howard

Correct answer:
Michael now has a crushed nose, lost his billions, can't get a job to save his life (but admit it - wouldn't you kill to see him in Vegas as a house act, a la Elton or Celine??? I'd sell my kid for that. Well…I'd rent her out, anyway.) And then there's Ron Howard, totally down-home, normal (at least that we know of), keeps making millions and best yet always makes us movies that bring us joy, laughter, tears, introspection…Plus, he was in "American Graffiti" which is the best movie ever. EH. VER.
Lest we forget…

Ronnie's best friend, Tom, a very smart man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68CKnirCxak):

Michael's best friend, Ben (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068264/plotsummary and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSqo17o2a1w):

The HELL???

Sigh.

That's all I got today.

So, put the pedal to the metal and get a speeding ticket today! (Tell the cop it's INDY DAY and maybe you'll just get a written warning…)

© 2008 Song of the Day From Molly

Do your civic duty and tell your friends about SOTDFM!

8.18.08 "Mama Told Me Not To Come" by Three Dog Night

2008-08-18T14:14:00.000-05:00

Whereas today is my big (but actually really little) sister, Minnow's birthday, and

Whereas she done loves her some Three Dog Night,

I give you…

"Mama Told Me Not To Come"
by Three Dog Night

(Watch a turntable playing it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeFii0frqMY. GAWD, I love YouTube!)

And that cigarette you're smoking'

Bout scared me half to death

Open up the window, sucker

Let me catch my breath

Such appropriate lyrics for a cardiologist's tribute song, no?

So this is Minnow's ex-boyfriend, who has the same birthday:

She broke his heart years ago (the only bad thing she's done to a heart in her life.) He was so distraught that he destroyed himself with hours and hours of sunshine abuse, on his ranch. He now looks like this:

WAY too "Ted Kennedy" for her to even consider getting back with him. Sorry dude.

Speaking of destroying oneself, my sister is - like I said - a cardiologist (or "heart doctor" to people who have Sesquipedalophobia a.k.a. the fear of long words.) She would – I have no doubt – want me to take this opportunity to tell your all to git yer effin' heart checked.

Did you know that heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women! (AND men, yes. But we already knew that.) So that's basically everyone, except like…Grover.

But do not fret.

This evil sh*t can be PRE-VEN-TED. That means you can be all-powerful and make it not happen to you. Just do the following:

Eat Cheerios (http://www.cheerios.com/forAdults/HeartHealthyEating/HeartHealthyEating_home.aspx)!

Go to a damn preventative cardiology doc! (http://www.mplsheart.com/Practices/PracticeGroups/Cardiology/Graham.aspx)

Dance to a lotta Three Dog Night (http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/threedognight) RE-

It can save your life. Just ask my Dad, who takes care of his heart and who is frickin' EIGHTY and still runs. (Like in New Balance outside and down the block running, not "run to the Mall of America (http://www.mallofamerica.com/)" kind of running.)

Speaking of Malls - you can get a BIG ASS MACY'S COUPON (i.e. FREE MONEY) for shopping. I KNOW! Here's what you do: Donate at least five bucks to the Go Red For Women fight a.k.a. the "Get The Word Out On Chicks' Hearts" cause. Click here to make your donation and the PRINT YOUR SAVINGS PASS (or else you're screwed and no one gets any help at all.) (TIP: Check the "Other" box on the donation page and type in $5.)

You'll get an email confirming you donated, then you just print that puppy and bring it to Macy's on Sept. 20 for hours and hours of fun capitalism! Wheeee! (You can always get me a present while you're there. I really like Clinique Happy and any sort of M.A.C makeup (http://www.maccosmetics.com/) And Frango mints. And shoes...I wear a 7 ½.)

So there ya go.

Now go get a bowl of effin' Cheerios and toast my sissie sis.

8.15.08 "If I Can Dream" by Elvis Presley

2008-08-15T15:11:00.000-05:00

This is really for tomorrow cuz I'm not able to send it out on the actual day. (On August 16, I have CDs to play! A '68 Comeback Special to watch for the 68th time! I've got stuff to DO!)

On August 16, 1977, my mom & I were driving back from my pediatrician's office for some reason we've long forgotten – shots, check-up, who knows. We had the radio on. Back in '77? It was probably 'CCO. (As opposed to 93X (http://www.93x.com/home.asp), which is what my mom listens to now.)

Now, my mom is someone who has never EVER been a celebrity hound like her youngest child. But she is way world-savvy and can talk you under the table about current events and politics, and – if hard pressed - could talk circles around any and every poli-sci teacher you could throw at her (though she's denied she could. "Oh, I don't know THAT much, honey!")

We were tooling along down Lyndale Avenue when the news came on the radio.

The news stunned me, but I thought it was because it was about someone who I really liked and listened to and obsessed over, like all my other celebrity faves – James Dean, Shawn Cassidy, Clark Gable, Erik Estrada, Montgomery Clift, Lowly Worm (http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Richard-Scarrys-Lowly-Worm-Word-Richard-Scarry/9780394847283-item.html...)

But I realized how big of a deal it truly was when I looked over and saw my mom's shocked face while she said quietly,

"Elvis died…"

She used just his first name. And was in true disbelief. It wasn't "Huh, how about that. Elvis Presley died." or "Aw, that's too bad." or anything else. I mean, my mom – a completely un-interested party in Celebrity Obsession Land – called him by his first name only! Which meant that normal people like my mom were even going to be a bit taken aback by the event. EVERYBODY was going to pay attention. It made me see the ramifications to come about this event. This was historical. This was gonna be one of those "Where were you when…" things like JFK getting shot. It was gonna be effin' HUGE (Okay. Go ahead. Take the cheap shot here. Insert "Elvis was fat" joke. Are you done? Good. Because you're boring.) It was a little weird to see my mom was affected so. I think it's because I realized at that moment that Elvis was WAYYYY more than a singer or a celebrity that I, in my weird little pop culture world, dug. He belonged to everyone.

Although, she was visibly shaken (okay, not so much – but I *love* it when they use that phrase on the news!), today she SWEARS she doesn't remember this. ("Oh honey…I don't remember that at ALL!") and blames her "bad memory." But the next second could name every member of Congress ever in history. Swear to frickin' God! Bad memory, my ass.)

So.

For my mom and her bad memory, I give you my favorite…

"If I Can Dream"
By Elvis Presley

No last name necessary, but I like to be consistent with my SOTDFM's. (No, it's NOT necessary. Did you READ the story? There IS no other Elvis. Period. I said PERIOD. And Elvis Costello's first name is really "Declan" so nyah, nyah, nyah. And who cares about anyone else.)

Watch Elvis nail the song here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grOGbjUKf2o&feature=related

Best ever. Hands down.

Word on the street is that Elvis was so nervous before filming this that he almost threw up. He was terrified that he'd come out and people would laugh, he'd get horrible reviews, and that his career – while already was in the toilet – would end up in the sewer, flushed into the Mississippi, down to New Orleans and out to the ocean, never to be seen again.

About the special, which Colonel @sswipe Tom Parker didn't want him to do, Elvis said, "I want everyone to know what I can really do." And holy sh*t, did he ever show 'em.

He was terrified…but he knew what he had. He had a gift and a talent and a sparkle that no one ever – and still hasn't – could come close to replicating, no matter HOW hard they try. The young pups who came along after Elvis will always just be someone who was "influence by Elvis" or "trying to be Elvis" or "channeling Elvis" or "fill-in-the-blank Elvis." Elvis was so far ahead and better than everyone else that for the Special, he went "Unplugged" when even Dylan was going electric, centuries before MTV was even a blip on the tube. He always did his own thang, set the bar, and everyone else has been trying to reach it since.

"From the time I was a kid, I always knew something was going to happen to me. Didn't know exactly what."

Dude still holds the record for the most Top 40 songs (114) and the most Top 10 hits (40). Eighteen singes went to the top of the Billboard charts and ten albums also reached #1. Take that Garth.

He'd be 73 today if he hadn't have died. Unless he had some sort of genetic freakish sh*t with his scalp/hair color/"Really, I don't color it!" like Ronald Reagan, Elvis would be combing grey hairs by now. But his blue eyes would still twinkle, his lip would still curl, and his hips would undoubtedly be swinging like he was still 22.

"Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens."

So tell me...where were YOU when The King died?

8.13.08 "Online" by Brad Paisley

2008-08-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

I’m really, seriously - even religiously - not one to listen to “hat country” (or as an semi-old school country artist once called it, “glossed-over pop” http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E0CE4D6173BF931A25754C0A964958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=1 and even called his tour the “no hats” tour, referring to those newer country artists – Alan Jackson, Clint Black, et. al. who coughed that phlegm up.) In fact, it makes me break out in a rash. But a very good friend sent me this, prefaced with, “Just. Effin. Give. It. A. Chance. “ So in the name of friendship, I did. And I liked it. And it made me laugh. Out loud. Thus, I must give props to the guy who finally wrote a good pop country song.

Today, I’m putting down my rockabilly/punk/metal/soul/big band/Stax &Sun Records/”I only listen to good music” dukes and give you…

“Online”
by Brad Paisley

OOOOOOO! It’s scarier than Heath Ledger’s Joker!

Okay, come on. Give it a chance, f*ckers. RELAAAAAAAAX. Afraid you might like it? Just listen to it. And then listen again. Brad Paisley once opened for George Jones (http://www.salon.com/people/bc/1999/10/26/jones/) – does that help ease your pain? And his kid’s middle name is Huckleberry. You can’t knock that (yes, his kid is a male. I suppose you could knock it if it was a chick. But even then – effin HUCKLEBERRY! Of course, CHUCKleBERRY would’ve been even cooler…)

The video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0) is quite the entertaining time, as well. Hell, you get a Shatner cameo (among others – look for ‘em.) And doesn’t a Shatner cameo – like putting food on a stick - make *everything* better? (I mean, if you put food on a stick – no matter the food – it makes it better than it was OFF the stick. You disagree? Then you have not fully experienced the Minnesota State Fair, where every food can make it on-a-stick http://gopher.mnstatefair.org/foodfinder/Results.lasso if they set their sights high enough. Yes, you read that list correctly. Macaroni and Cheese on-a-stick. Hot Dish on-a-stick. Deep Fried Milky Way on-a-stick. We are magical beings here in Minnesota.)

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

Now before you get all “That’s a really mean song. That’s really insensitive to people who are really like that!” don’t forget how the ultra-cool Dropkick Murphys had the same twist when they sang a slew of pickup lines in “Kiss Me, I’m Shitfaced”, testifying “I designed the Sears tower, I make two grand an hour, I bake the world’s best duck flambé…” Paisley’s just riffin’ on that same idea. The Murphys just lie to our face, not through a My Space profile or a chatroom. Which is worse? (Being Irish, I prefer the guy with tattoos and a kilt going after me offline. But that’s in my heritage; I can’t fight it.)

Like it? Don’t tell anyone. Unless you’re online, then opine freely about your new love.

P.S. I grow another foot and lose a buncha weight every time I write these Song of the Day essays. Really.

8.12.08 "Heaven For Everyone" by Queen

2008-08-12T13:17:00.000-05:00

I was made aware of a gaffe (a “social or diplomatic blunder”) in my Friday Olympics SOTD in which I wrote about how we live in a country where we take our rights for granted. Well, some of us don’t take them for granted…because they simply don’t have all the rights that the rest of us do. SO…

In honor of our gay peeps out there, who are the victims of the last frontier of legalized discrimination, I give you:

“Heaven For Everyone”
By Queen

“Their basic pride and dignity
Is stripped and torn and shown no pity
When this should be heaven for everyone”

When Thomas Jefferson (http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/tj3.html) said “All men are created equal” do you really think he added, “except you rainbow flag-waiving freaks” at the end? I think not. And T.J. was one of the earliest supporters of gay rights.
Okay, I made that last part up. But Tommy’s longtime girlfriend was African-American (http://www.monticello.org/plantation/hemingscontro/hemings-jefferson_contro.html) so I’m sure he was down with civil rights even before there were civil rights. And as the founder of the Democratic-Republican party, he can speak for many of us! (Okay, that party wasn’t the Democratic NOR the Republican party we know today – but don’t you love how it sounds? A country united!)

None less than the United Nations have spoken on Human Rights:
“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”
—Article 1 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR)
Did you get that? ALL humans.
ALL.
A.L effin’ L.

Coretta Scott King says, “Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood.” You wanna argue with MLK’s widow? Go right ahead. I’ll stand back and watch your ass get kicked from here. And point. And laugh.

Since AIDS is closely associated with gay men (even though such heteros as...

Magic Johnson (http://www.magicjohnson.org/) and...

Arthur Ashe (http://www.cmgww.com/sports/ashe/) contracted it, too, I need to address it.

The first celebrity who came out about having AIDS was Rock Hudson (http://www.cmgww.com/stars/hudson/.) We all said “HOOOOOLY SHI-TAHHHHH” like Belushi in “Animal House” because – who knew! Rock is gay! Mr. Macho Movie Star Idol is gay! (Maybe we should’ve realized that Rock was gay when he spent months filming “Giant” with Liz Taylor and never made a move. But I digress.) But he finally came out with it in order to help other people who might get AIDS. In fact, Rock said: "I am not happy that I am sick. I am not happy that I have AIDS. But if that is helping others, I can at least know my own misfortune has had some positive worth."

And then there is Freddie.

(Sidebar: This is Freddie made out of Legos!)

Freddie Mercury, the iconic fabulous and riveting frontman for Queen, was lambasted for not coming out sooner than he did about having contracted AIDS. Regardless, he did fess up. Then died the next day, stunning us once, then twice in 24 hours. Peeps were pissed that Freddie kept it quiet, thinking it was because he was in the closet. But as Freddie said in an early interview:

“I’m as gay as a daffodil.”

Maybe I’m wrong, but most hetero guys I know wouldn’t say that. Like my dad. I don’t think my dad would ever say that. Or Steve McQueen. Even considering his name.

So.

You disagree with this idea, this gay rights deal? Great – let me know. Our country is a fantastic place with freedom of speech, so throw your speech at me. But remember - one of our other rights is Freedom of Email Deletion (read the Bill of Rights, it’s near the bottom. I'm serious! It's there! Go check!) so don’t be surprised if you don’t get a response right away. Or ever. Nyah, nyah, nyah!

This is for Jeff, who I miss every day.

Honorable Mention:
T-Ed (Thomas Edition) created the phonograph today. Without it, you wouldn’t be listening to music right now! Well, you probably would be. There was some Italian guy who was working on the same invention. But let’s pretend!

8.10.08 "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes

2008-08-10T13:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Ronnie Spector's 65th birthday (!)

Ronnie was the frontwoman for the greatest girl group of all time, The Ronettes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ronettes

Thus, I give you…

"The greatest record ever made." – Brian Wilson

"Be My Baby"
By The Ronettes

"He played it every single day — sometimes over and over — for as long as we lived together. Dad was blown away by Phil Spector's "wall of sound" production, and Ronnie Spector's voice had a yearning quality that knocked him out again and again. He couldn't get enough of 'Be My Baby.'"– Carnie Wilson on her dad, Brian's love for the song.

Here are The Ronettes in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7pmwqDLxU0

"Be My Baby" was introduced by Dick Clark on American Bandstand as the "Record of the Century."

"Be My Baby" featured on the multi-million selling soundtrack album to the 1987 film Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts The Ronettes in the corner!

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/6595867/be_my_baby

Ronnie rocked the kitty cat eyeliner WAYYYY before Amy Winehouse was even born. (Compare and contrast photos.)

Ronnie was married to Phil Spector, the loony genius who invented The Wall of Sound (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_of_sound.) Ronnie said that Phil once showed her a gold coffin with a glass top in his basement, promising to kill and display her should she ever choose to leave him. Isn't that romantic? He loved her so much!

And Marty Scorcese uses "Be My Baby" at the beginning of "Mean Streets" starring Harvey Keitel and Robert DeNiro. To quote Sinatra AGAIN: What a sandwich! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJSe9dBjtf0

Go ahead – be like Brian Wilson and play it every day!
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

8.8.08 "Chimes of Freedom" by The Byrds (written by Bob Dylan)

2008-08-08T14:29:00.000-05:00

8.8.08

This is it. This is when we do it.

This is when we show those bastards that they can't keep picking on the little guy, the guy who never hurt anyone, whose only crime was to be smaller, less powerful, and very easy to bully.

The Olympics.

Jaded? BITE ME. Some have been working their entire lives to get here, eyes on the only prize that will completely satisfy – the gold medal. Some are there simply for the honor of qualifying and the honor of competing. And some just want the honor of representing their country, of saying to the world, "We are here. We are on this planet with you. How cool is THIS sh*t!?"

Honor.

You're gonna blow THAT off because you don't like the Nike swoosh or Wheaties or get all whiny when you think the Olympics is just a venue for the rich American athletes to succeed and then get more money? Get serious. It ain't about money. Of course, money is reeeeeally nice to help build really cool places to train, sleek stuff to wear, tasty & nutritious food to eat – but in the end, it (really, TRULY) ain't about the people who forked out the most cash - Ethiopia can tell ya that (seven medals in 2004! http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/08/04/sports/olympics/20080804_MEDALCOUNT_MAP.html) And therein lies the beauty. The best in the Olympics really ARE the best.

Back to honor. There's one guy who will be there tonight – Lopez Lomong (http://www.nbcolympics.com/athletes/athlete=1460/bio/index.html) - one of our newest Americans. He's gonna carry our colors into that arena to show China and the entire world that no one can mess with his freedom anymore…and that no one should mess with anyone else's, ever. Right, Jesse Owens (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXIe5GbLSUs&feature=related)? So you stand the f*ck up when you see him come in. And yeah, it's okay to get a little misty. You SHOULD. That's patriotism you're feeling. And patriotism is NOT BAD. Did you hear me?

Being patriotic and proud to be an American isn't about Toby Keith or wearing a flag on your lapel to "prove" you're really really American (really) – it's about thanking God/Buddha/Elvis/Whomever (you're free to pick! Isn't that cool?) that you're from a place where freedom is so abundant that we sometimes forget about it…and maybe, embarrassingly, forget that other people don't have it. "In 1787, our founding fathers sat down to write a list of principles for keepin' people free…" Don't know that story? Here's a quick review: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_TXJRZ4CFc

So for every medal that the Americans win in the next coupla weeks (let's face it, we've GOTTA win a couple, right?) get off your ass, stand up and face that effin' flag, hand solidly over your heart. Don't get all "well, I don't approve of what our current administration has done with such and such" (fill in the blank – there are MANY choices.) Because this Country isn't this Administration. It didn't start that way and it sure as hell ain't gonna end with those guys in office (insert Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come" here.) And as the big brother (not Big Brother) of the planet, it's up to us to have the back of our little brothers and sisters on the planet – like Lopez - and keep the schoolyard bullies from beating the sh*t out of them…or worse.

So "for each unharmful, gentle soul misplaced inside a jail" I give you…

"Chimes of Freedom"
By The Byrds
(written by Bob Dylan)

Flashing for the warriors, whose strength is not to fight
Flashing for the refugees on the unarmed road of flight
And for each and every underdog soldier in the night
We gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing

Bring it on. We're here and we've got Darfur's back.

Let the games begin.

Honorable Mention:

It's Irish Fair in St. Paul this weekend!!!! A multitude of peeps from and about my other homeland (the big I) will be kickin' out the jams next to the Mississippi, including The Belfast Cowboys (http://www.myspace.com/belfastcowboys, see Song of the Day 7.29.08 and ) and the Brian Boru Irish Pipe Band, hands-down the best bunch of drummin', pipin', dancin, and sometimes drinkin' buncha lads & lasses you'll find this side of the Emerald Isle (http://www.brianboruirishpipeband.com/bbipbhome.html - and check it: they are an official non-profit! I shizzle you nizzle!) Go raise a Guinness to the Band this weekend (and then put them down on your "Selected Non-Profit" form with company match through your employee giving campaign at the end of the year.)

"Iron Maiden" by Iron Maiden

2008-08-07T14:13:00.000-05:00

HAPPY 50th birthday,
Bruce Dickinson!

I give you…

"Iron Maiden"
By Iron Maiden
The beginning of this song is Bruce's signature line: "Scream for me (fill in the city)!!!!!" Best known as Iron Maiden's lead vocalist and front man, Bruce Dickinson is also an author! A licensed pilot! (Seriously!) and…get this…he fences. Seriously. Dude FENCES. In 1989 was ranked seventh-best fencer in the UK. SEVENTH! I KNOW! At one point he was invited to join the UK Olympic team, but declined the offer because of touring commitments. Damn Maiden.

And lookit one of the plane he flies!

"Rock music should be gross: that's the fun of it.
It gets up and drops its trousers."
– Bruce Dickinson

So get up!
Drop trou'!
and...

SCREAM FOR ME!

\m/

8.6.08 "Shake Your Hips" by Shakira

2008-08-06T12:35:00.000-05:00

This Day in History:

Bogotá , Colombia is founded!

Thus, I give you…

“Hips Don’t Lie”
By Shakira

SHAKE IT! She’s not from Bogotá, but she IS Colombian…and YOU try finding a song by a famous Bogotán. Bogotián?

So anyway, back in the day (1538 to be exact) Bogotá, Colombia, was founded by Gonzalo Jiménez de Quesada.

He was a lawyer and did his hair like Elvis. Is there anything hotter? (Okay, yeah – the beard makes him look like Pa Ingalls (the one who was illustrated by Garth Williams in the “Little House” BOOKS, NOT the Hollywood version)

but still. EFFIN HOT. Look at those eyes!

And okay – go ahead and insert your token cocaine joke here. But get educated after you do it, dumbass. Colombia is also one of the largest producers of pop-up books in the world (I kid you not!) And Bogotá itself is SO much more than the white stuff.

If it weren’t for Bogotá my life would have a lot less meaning and love. Two of the best people I know were adopted from Bogotá - Henry in 1995 and Helen in 1998 respectively. You should know them. They will soon rule the world and you’ll be able to say “I knew them when…” They are already having a massive impact on the world.

Here they are with a guy named Barack, who decided to run for President only AFTER meeting my niece and nephew and is now charging peeps $5,000 to get a picture with him, because after Henry & Helen did it, it was all the rage and the requests were getting out of control. EXTREME TRENDSETTERS is all I can say.

So, my kid’s daycare just had “Columbia Month” commencing in “Columbia Day” which consisted of a big party; food made by a teacher at the center who is from Bogotá; lots of red, blue & yellow decorations; and a program put on by the older day care kids in which they each relayed different information about Colombia…like how they are the largest importer of fruit in the world.

Anyway, the first thing I heard when I got out of my car was a very young voice in a dead monotone saying, “Colombia. has. the. best. coffee. in. the. world.” Then people cheered. And it’s true.

So rock on with your bad selves and raise a cuppa java to Bogotá today. Your world – not just mine - is better because of this poca ciudad. Look it up.

7.31.08 "You're Missing" by Bruce Springsteen

2008-07-31T11:38:00.000-05:00

(Now, there are conflicting data regarding the exact date of this historical event, but I am opting for the History Channel records over Wikipedia and Crime Library, which say this happened on July 30. Just so ya know.)

This Day in History, 1975:

Jimmy Hoffa Disappeared!

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/famous/jimmy_hoffa/1.html

POOF!

Just like that, he was gone! Did the Mafia take him? Is he buried under home plate at Yankee Stadium? We may never know. Thus, I give you…

"You're Missing"
by Bruce Springsteen

On July 31, 1975, the legendary American labor leader, Jimmy Hoffa mysteriously disappeared in Detroit Rock City never to be heard from again. There's NO (conclusive) evidence as to where Jimmy went (or if he was "taken"…or if he was "offed" …or if he just rode off on his bicycle into Switzerland a la James Coburn in "The Great Escape". )

His death remains shrouded in mystery to this day.

Hoffa became president of the Teamsters in 1957 and will be remembered for being an advocate for exploited workers. Oh, yeah…he'll also be remembered for his hanging around with the Mob, who were bustin' it up with racketeering, extortion and embezzlement. The Feds busted him in 1967 and he was convicted of bribery and sentenced to 15 years in the clink. Then Nixon let him out early. Maybe he should've stayed in.

7.22.08 "The Joker" by The Steve Miller Band

2008-07-22T13:04:00.000-05:00

July 22, 2008

I am doing this one today as my car broke down yesterday and I spent the day between Midas on 98th & Lyndale (where all the cool kids get their car repairs) and my parents' house, so BITE ME that it's a day late, okay?
Anyway…

In honor of one of the most incredible portrayals of a villain since the shark in JAWS…

I give you:

"The Joker"
By The Steve Miller Band

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_%28comics%29

"He's just out of control. He has no empathy. He's a sociopath, psychotic, mass-murdering clown. And I'm just thoroughly, thoroughly enjoying it."

-Heath Ledger, on playing the Joker in "The Dark Knight"

Heath, we'll miss what you could've given us. Thanks for your brilliance.

"Good Night, Sweet Prince. And flights of angels sing the to thy rest." – Horatio, Hamlet, Act V, Scene II

Artist's sketch by Matt Walsh, horror fiend & hairdresser

"Linus and Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

2008-07-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

"Linus and Lucy"
by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

"I don't think I'm a great piano player, but I would like to have people like me, to play pretty tunes and reach the audience." – Vince Guaraldi

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
VINCE GUARALDI!
Vince composed that kick-ass music from "Charlie Brown Christmas" and all the other Peanuts TV shows. Had he not died in 1976, he would have been 80 years old today. I challenge you to play this tune and NOT DANCE…you will not be successful. And don't come back lie and say you didn't dance, Fakey McFakerstein! Because even if you were perfectly still, I guarantee you were dancin' on the inside.

"Say Hey (The Willie Mays Song)" by The Treniers

2008-07-15T11:30:00.000-05:00

In honor of the complete and utter (GO TWINS!) Canadian (GO TWINS!) stud (GO TWINS!) who won the Home Run Derby last night (GO TWINS!), I give you...

"Say Hey (The Willie Mays Song)"

by the Treniers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Morneau

Need I point out the irony of a Canadian winning (GO TWINS!) said contest of America's Pastime? I think not.

"When they give you that pitch, you do something with it."
— Justin Morneau

"They throw the ball, I hit it. They hit the ball, I catch it."
– Willie Mays (Not a Twin, but a fairly solid player)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willie_Mays

The Treniers (None were Twins) recorded this gem (with Willie Mays!) on this date in 1954. The song's producer? A 21-year old guy named Quincy Jones…(Not a Twin either, but still a fairly solid music legend)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quincy_Jones

GO YA FRICKIN' TWINS GO!

"Bicycle Race" by Queen

2008-06-26T12:56:00.000-05:00

This Day in History, June, 26 1819

The bicycle was patented by W. K. Clarkson.
Therefore, today's song of the day is...

"Bicycle Race"
by Queen